Friday, December 19, 2008

Monday morning, I was pointed in the direction of an article online concerning Sharon Osbourne, the matriarch of the Ozzy Osbourne family and reality television star Megan Hauserman who has been on various shows such as Beauty and the Geek and others. Both were recently on a Vh1 show called Rock of Love Charm School where Megan was a contestant and Sharon was the headmistress of the school. This is a reality based show that aired during the fall season. The show taped its reunion episode on Saturday evening in Los Angeles where both were in attendance. However, things went a little over the edge between the two. Hauserman said something about Ozzy to Osbourne which spurned Osbourne to retaliate physically. A day after this occurred, Houserman went to the hospital and pressed charges against Osbourne. From what I am understanding, the incident is under investigation with the LAPD.

Sharon Osbourne is known for blowing up from time to time. She is fiercely protective of her husband and children. This is not unusual as most mother hens tend to have that protective edge. Plus, Ozzy is not in a good place mentally and does not function with all capacities as we all saw on The Osbournes back in 2002. It was not a laughing matter but a sad situation overall and not someone I would be making hurtful comments about. I am guessing that when Hauserman said what she did, it hit a nerve with Mrs. Osbourne and she reacted. I am also aware of Hauserman and her behavior on television as well. She is known for manipulating others and purposely doing and saying things to get them upset. She also acts without conscience and is hated by most everyone who watches these shows. I saw Hauserman on this recent show and did she love pushing the buttons of others and getting them upset. She enjoyed doing this. Osbourne would come down hard on these ladies and true, was no saint by any stretch. However, I never saw her act out of malice or cruelty unlike Hauserman.

Folks, there is no excuse for physical violence or lashing out at anyone. This stuff does lead to more trouble than it is worth. There are much better ways to handle ones anger. Whether it be in defense a loved one or not, there is no excuse for violence. However, knowing Megan’s track record, I wonder if she intentionally tried to push Osbournes buttons well aware of how she would react? Osbourne is reactive; however, I am well aware that Osbourne has publicly spoken out against bullying in the past. She does not advocate it and she eliminated Hauserman early in this show due to her lack of conscience plus her violence towards another contestant. For the most part, Osbourne does not run around on television manipulating people and trying to keep them upset. Hauserman is the poster child for relational aggression as far as I am concerned. She manipulates, plots against others, has exhibited violence of her own and keeps the people around her upset and seems to enjoy behaving that way. You can see her “Queen Bee” mentality coming through the screen and her followers hanging on to her every action. In my opinion, I find her quite scary and someone who just does not “get it” so to speak. She has behaved as many covert bullies do. Most importantly, she has no remorse either.

I was not at this reunion and can only go on what I have read about this and what I saw on the show when it aired this season. I have not met either lady in person. However, I can have an opinion based on what I have read here and what I know of both of these women. Sharon is the one with the charges slapped on her but Hauserman is the one who made the comment in the first place and has a reputation for being mean and nasty towards others. So, I have to ask, who really bullied who in this situation? Also, why did Hauserman wait a day before seeking care and pressing charges? If she was so bad off, wouldn’t she have gone to get help sooner? At the end of the day, I am guessing Hauserman was the real bully in all of this. It would not surprise me a bit.

Resource Cited:
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/2008/12/15/2008-12-15_sharon_osbourne_accused_of_attacking_roc.html

Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From a Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .

Friday, December 05, 2008

The Evil in Peer Abuse at Work

I read an article this morning entitled Workplace Bullying: Psychological Violence? This was well written and informative. It gave a few examples of recent stories shared that involved bullying growing up and how victims were still being affected by this trauma.

One thing I want to point out is that bullies do not “grow up” as they age but they “grow worse”. They take their dirty deeds and bring them into the workplace. You can find them picking out their targets and cornering them like a cat corners a bird. Some examples of what they do are spread lies, exclude others, give false information on purpose, constant criticism. I could go on and on ad nauseum. Basically, they spend their time sucking up to the boss to persuade them that their ideas and beliefs are gospel. If they are the boss, they just revel in their power. They twist things to make themselves look good while making their target look bad. It never ends and it is physically and emotionally draining. Not to mention that companies loose a lot of money each year as a result of this. Victims develop problems like depression, anxiety and are overwhelmed with stress. A lot of sick days are used as a result of this.

One point mentioned in this article that I wanted to point out is that a person cannot work to his full potential if being bullied at work. With constant criticism, games and manipulations, how can one focus and try to do a good job? They can’t! A person does not feel safe or secure then yes, they are going to screw up.


Please, educate yourselves on this problem that persists in the workplace. Do not get involved in the politics and games. Stay away from all of that. Read your code of conduct and if any of these behaviors mentioned in the article sounds like you, do something about it! Bystanders, do something and don’t egg the problem on or add to it. If a bully targets one person, he will target another. Don’t give them any power. This is a great article and one I highly recommend others take a look at.

There is enough evil in the world. Please don’t take it to work and add to it.

Resource Cited:
http://www.fedsmith.com/article/1780/

Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From a Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info/

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Stop the Celebrity Imposters!

In the aftermath of the Lori Drew trial, I have been reading bits and pieces online as time has permitted. This trial made me think of a few things over the past several days about internet safety, the realities of social sites and other odds and ends pertaining to the internet. I stumbled across this well written blog in the LA Times where the reader is asked to ponder whether or not social sites need to get serious about cyber bullying, online pranks and other debauchery that we see when we go to places such as My Space, Facebook, Twitter and others out there.

Currently, I have an account on these main social sites but the primary reason has to do with business and networking. I also add my family and friends and have reconnected with people I either worked with or went to school with in the past. Plus, you can keep everyone abreast of the latest happenings all at once rather than bit by bit through email or the phone. There are some great advantages to having accounts on these sites. However, in my own experience not only on social sites but on the internet as a whole, there is a very dark side to the dangers that can occur. Predators can be found lurking these sites for their next young prey. People are looking for love and in all of the wrong places. One very scary and overlooked problem is not only with setting up fake profiles as Lori Drew did but setting up profiles pretending to be celebrities. Fans join and see their favorite celebrity on there and will send them an add request asking to be friends. The celebrity will accept and this person is so excited! Not only that but the celebrity is actually sending them messages and leaving comments on their pages and turns out some mentally ill adult, predator or a kid is behind the screen fooling everyone. This does occur because on My Space, some friends and I took the initiative to catch these bogus profiles and report them to My Space a year ago. However, My Space asked us not to do this any further and they created their own celebrity avenue on there. Yet the fake profile and poser issue still exists. This can be very traumatic to the person who thinks they are writing their favorite celebrity only to find out that it was not that person after all.

We need to get tougher on these social sites. Facebook will delete bogus profiles and I commend them. All this problem does is add to the cyber bullying problem and feed into the predator and stalking that occurs. The psychology of the victim is traumatic. They feel violated and like they have been stabbed in the back. This can create trust issues and other psychological problems down the line. Plus, it is a very real problem that exists. I helped to catch two posers of celebrities away from social sites and the rest on social sites. Many consider this a joke but it is no laughing matter. I have defined this as a form of cyber bullying in my book with hope that people become aware of this. They say that they do not tolerate any cyber bullying on their sites? This is a form of cyber bullying so why do they tolerate this? Folks, get educated! Take this seriously! Pretending to be someone online is identity theft and is wrong. Do not enable this; ban these cyber bullies from your site! Keep things clean and safe for everyone. Do what you can to stop these online posers, I know I did.

Resource cited:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/technology/2008/11/in-the-wake-of.html

Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From a Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .

Monday, December 01, 2008

Authors: Check this site out! Its for you!

Author & Book Event Center!
http://bookeventcenter.ning.com/

If you have written a book, this is for you!

Come and join. On this site, you can:
Find other authors
Reviews for books
Book Events
Book Trailers
Chat Sessions
Discussions
Blogs
Photos
And much more!

So, come over, sign up and I will add you as a friend! You can add as many friends if you wish. Again, this is for authors ONLY! No publishers, marketing or any of that. I look forward to seeing you there!

Take Care,
Elizabeth Bennett
http://www.peerabuse.info Theorist and Consultant
http://www.bullypolice.org National Survivor Specialist
http://www.peerabuse.typepad.com
Nationally Certified Olweus Bullying Prevention Trainer